Acting Rory or Real Life Rory?

New Rory and Mal Episode 4 — Kashius Klay and The Zodiac Killer

Growing up in the 90’s cartoons were the shit. And not how it is now where you can binge Paw Patrol for 8 hours. I’m talking, you waited for Saturday morning or you waited until after school to catch the new Transformers or the new X-Men. But what was really crazy was when you saw your favourite toys end up getting their own show too. What was crazier was when the show sucked, like straight up doo-doo. Like I’m saying they didn’t even try to make it interesting — they just be trying to sell more Swamp Things and more Mighty Max toys. Like c’mon, you put some garbage on TV and my 8 year old self was not being fooled. Y’all did not have no gripping Phoenix / Jean Grey storylines like that, you just wanted me to tell my parents to go buy me some more Micro Machines.

In the words of the great Mal, I get it.

That’s what the skit at the beginning of this episode reminded me of though — the idea of putting visuals against the product (stories in R&M’s case), and bringing it to life, and actually doing it really well. Applause to my guys — this was well done. Rory acted like, well, how he’s been acting on the show but in a type of scenario he’s been talking about, I appreciate that. This makes me want to see these interviews they were talking about doing in the last episode that much more now.

If she got the practice shorts you know that’s a whole other story

The guys start off the show questioning 7-Eleven food, particularly their hotdogs. I’ve never had a 7-Eleven hotdog but I can tell you this much, I ain’t eating this. They get into staying over at a lady’s house and that whole experience. Does she have the nice bath stuff? Does she clean your clothes for you? One thing for me is that whole toothbrush scenario — you ever go into someone’s bathroom and question the amount of toothbrushes that exist. Also for me it’s the finding rolls of toilet paper in places where that shit don’t need to be — IE: beside the bed. Like, what is going on in here? I digress.

If she got clothes like basketball shorts that you can change into then you know what’s up. If she got the team practice shorts then there’s a deeper story there.

The fireworks set themselves off at this point

Mal then goes into catching up with the homies for the 4th of July while Rory talks about dancing at a Doja Cat concert with a bunch of gay people and having the time of his life. Peep Mal’s rant on fireworks. Not gonna lie though, I grew up in a neighbourhood where you couldn’t tell the difference between a gun shot and fireworks. Regardless, his rant made me laugh — just enjoy the damn fireworks.

They question why don’t men dance anymore. I mean there’s still this. There’s this. And there’s always this.

Y’all hear words and white people lose their mind

I couldn’t do any better tbh

As a white male, I will say, I used to SWEAT hard in the club when Party Up came on (RIP DMX). But I get it, we tend to be off beat Justin Bieber stays scolding us for it.

Freaknik DVD’s and murder to avoid women

The guys get into the college party days with Freaknik being the thing you could never get away with today. The early 2000’s was the time to get you some DVD compilations that would otherwise get people in jail, cancelled, or all of the above today. Girls Gone Wild, Bum Fights, anything to do with the Jackass guys, are all I can think of off the top of my head. The irony for me is that this stuff is far more readily available right now but somehow back then it was somewhat more socially acceptable, if that makes sense?

Rory goes on to tell a crazy story about Désant (sp?), this dude who faked his own murder to get away from a girl in college. Long story short, this podcast ceases to amaze me on the crazy stories these guys have to share. How someone could fake their own death then walk in campus two days later after people held candle light vigils for you is, I don’t even know. Ever have that dream that you see yourself at your own funeral, that’s what it felt like listening to this.

Versus Versus Versus

Bobby Brown vs. Keith Sweat: Bobby just wanted everyone to drink responsibility.

Bow Wow vs. Soulja Boy: I honestly didn’t find this very entertaining. If Bow Wow found a magic pair of shoes and started dunking on people then I’d be giving this to Bow Wow but my guy Soulja Boy had too many songs that I downloaded on Limewire to ignore…and he bought the first iPhone so *shrug emoji*.

Beanie Siegel vs NORE: it’s happening. Rory calls NORE to confirm this. And also to clear up lyrics about a cocker spaniel reference in Super Thug. NORE says it’s referring to a gun buuuuuut Genius says otherwise, hmmmm?

Snoh Alegra dropped…damn. Damn. Damn.

The guys finish off the episode with a bit more music, Rory’s Kash Doll jabs at Mal, and Lebron A&R-ing the Space Jam soundtrack. Deluxe on it’s way *face palm*.

The show is smooth sailing at this point. You can see the guys setting themselves up for more than just a podcast and more than just a show. There’s Roc-Nation undertones through out the show now and there’s obvious links to other NYC influentials like Rich Kleiman and 35 Ventures. Let’s see where this continues to go, shall we?

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That NewNew

I write about culture, hip hop, and whatever else is interesting.